Can’t a drunk guy just eat his orange chicken without having to answer a bunch of brain teasers?

A 74-year-old guy was in the drive-thru lane at a Panda Express in South Euclid, Ohio last week, when he rear-ended the person in front of him.

His goal was to stop another car from driving between them to get out of the parking lot.  So, yeah, he hit the other car PURELY out of a desire to make someone else’s life more needlessly difficult.

The cops came and they were pretty sure the guy was drunk, so they tried to give him the sobriety test where you say the alphabet.  But the guy REFUSED to do it . . . because he said he was UNFAMILIAR with the alphabet.  He was arrested for operating a vehicle while impaired.